High-School Poetry

A recently-rediscovered poem I wrote in high school. It was so totally the leading entry in the Hopkins High School 1999 Literary Magazine.

My writing abilities have only regressed since this bright, shining, dazzling, sparkling, flaming (not in a gay way, but like, hot white flames and stuff) debut.

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"The Audience"
By Jeff Allen, Junior, 17

Who would ever really want to write a poem?
Not me
that's for sure, dude

"Poems" are for suburban kids who go to coffee shops
and smoke cigarettes without inhaling
and read from their tattered notebooks
and pretend that they're vampires
and vainly try to inject their lives with some culture

'"Poems" are for 12-year old girls who write about
their ex-boyfriends
and their divorced parents
"he kissed Suzy Wilkins behind my back!"
they write on tear-stained pink stationary paper

"Poems" are for retired, elderly women who have nothing to do
so they write about nature
and the second world war
and drink weak tea

"Poems" are for pretentious, art-house rock bands
who play at art galleries
and stick screw drivers in their guitar strings
and use reverb pedals
and sing about an "orange rhyming dictionary"

I'll take the rhythm and soul
I'll take the language
I'll take the feeling and melody
but you can keep your poems

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Did that shit just blow your mind?